Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 was the year

  • got my wisdom teeth removed
  • got my first laptop
  • i finished school and started university

and that was it. i can't really think of anything extremely special this year except for university. it was a really huge change in my life, but enough to fill a list not really. In all it was a great year, but nothing really that will always stay in my head. i had quite many plans to travel and stuff, but this year didn't really gave me many chances to do so, although i had so much free time. It was a good year, but the next year shall be able to top it quite easily.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Machinarium: Revisit

So the game took a turn into another direction. it turned from level based into a full grown puzzle based cutie adventure. it was amazingly nice for the time i was still suffering from my teeth surgery and it was a hell of an exciting adventure. I even downloaded the soundtrack and totally love the song Clockwise Operetta, yet didnt feel too good with the rest of the soundtrack, partly because the song of the little three fellars was missing (luckily youtube knows how to help). In hindsight the game was one of the few games i managed to do without help and really loved to play with, but i'm still very sad that the game and storyline was so short, i could have imagined more about how the world we know now maybe turned into this robot place and more background story about the girlfriend of josef, i mean we dont even know her name. but maybe thats quite a bit of the charm of the game, you jump into this cute worls and you dont need to know more about it at all i mean its just a cute little story. obviously a game i am bond to tell friends about if they ask me what adventure game to play next.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011


So after some problems i finally could get started playing a new game with Yvonne. It's a nice and adorable adventure game where you play an unnamed robot and have to solve little puzzles. It's a rather easy adventure game, because the puzzles are always on one screen and you never bring items from different screens into a new area, so the combinations you have to try to get the solution are rather limited. Yet probably not as frustrating as in other adventure games. It is nicely drawn and has a very nice concept, i really like it so far although we are right at the very beginning, because he did not have much time to play it today, but will most likely continue to play tomorrow. So far we got stuck on several occasations, but then it was because i'm just a big dummy and didn't do things right that were quite obvious. Mostly the whole game is intuitive, but often you just don't realise how exactly you could do what you want to do. Luckily after a while of searching you always get the thing right though, mostly due to its limitation to one screen. Most adventure games you either sit through for months or you cheat and look solutions up. I hope for this one i can get through without cheating at all with the exception of Yvonne helping, although she seemed a bit lost inside the game today.

Yellow Face and a sigh of relief

So my face has big yellow bruises, but the swollen parts returned and i feel a lot less pressure on my cheeks. Also today was the first time i did not spit blood in the morning and the first time i ate normal breakfast and all the other food. It is finally getting a lot better. In two days i will get the twines out and then i'm ready to go hopefully.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Random Rants

So today i tried to install a game i got for christmas 9 years ago and the cds still worked, but then i had to find out that after installation the game won't work on Win 7, what a bummer. I just wanted to find a game again so i can keep myself busy while i still have to recover, my cheeks just don't want to get thinner these days, i hope tomorrow it will be better, but i have doubts, because i can feel that one side may infect or is wounded or whatever. But we will see.

Friday, December 23, 2011

12 days of hamster

On the first days of christmas my doctor gave to me, One extremely painful surgery.

On the second day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgery.

On the third day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and One extremely painful surgery.

On the fourth day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Four removed tooth, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgery.

On the fifth day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Five foodless days, Four removed tooth, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgery.

On the sixth day of christmas my doctor gave to me a Six feet wide mouth, Five foodless days, Four removed tooth, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgery.

On the seventh day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Seven pills to swallow, Six feet wide mouth, Five foodless days, Four removed tooth, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgery.

On the eigth day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Eight days to recover, Seven pills to swallow, Six feet wide mouth, Five foodless days, Four removed tooth, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgery.

On the ninth day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Nine removed roots, Eight days to recover, Seven pills to swallow, Six feet wide mouth, Five foodless days, Four removed tooth, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgery.

On the tenth day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Ten times Nine minutes of suffering, Nine removed roots, Eight days to recover, Seven pills to swallow, Six feet wide mouth, Five foodless days, Four removed tooth, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgery.

On the eleventh day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Eleven christmas wishes, Ten times Nine minutes of suffering, Nine removed roots, Eight days to recover, Seven pills to swallow, Six feet wide mouth, Five foodless days, Four removed tooth, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgery.

On the twelfth day of christmas my doctor gave to me, Twelve glasses of water, Eleven christmas wishes, Ten times Nine minutes of suffering, Nine removed roots, Eight days to recover, Seven pills to swallow, Six feet wide mouth, Five foodless days, Four removed tooth, Three cracked tooth roots, Two different pills and an extremely painful surgeryyyyyyyyyyyy.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

First Test - Epic Win or Legendary Fail?

So i had my first test in college, it wasn't a real full test, but a 90 minute one where you just had to make crosses on false or right statements. The test wasn't very hard, but neither too easy. After asking others what they have i'm pretty sure i am missing out 12% already, but then again i still hope to have a result between 80% and 90%. we will see how it will work out. The good thing is that the results may be online in only a matter of hours.

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Shy Girl Dilemma

And another relationship turned into ashes. Why is it always that i find shy girls with lots of emotional problems and after i fixed 'em they thank me in getting the self-esteem of finding someone who fits better to them in their eyes. Well i think i got my will when i wanted to be single for university about 9 months ago. It feels strange to have a relationship over that was so long, yet not many people knew about, but it feels great to not have any need to explain what ended if noone knew about it. Surprisingly she found a guy, while i was just taking some time to study, although she told me i meant everything for her and that she never had feelings towards someone else. I however told her everything about a girl i felt more for than i may have wanted to feel. Well, at least it seems that i was the honest one in our relationship, although i had sleeping problems for the reason that i thought i wasn't the one. New Year, New Love i guess. i just have to find one. Funny thing is that december is always a strange month for me in terms of relationships. Last december it all began with Gogo and i met Yvonne. The december before Claire visited me for the first time and we all knew what that was all about. For instance the december before i was about to get my first girlfriend, but it took nearly two more months of flirting to get there. And everything before i can't remember because it is not in my blog :D.
But i think i drifted away from the original context. At least the headline tells me i should talk about the SGD. So i'm attracted to vulnerable and shy girls and after investing much time into a stable relationship it falls suddenly apart like a just finished house of cards. if i wasn't too tired of studying for college it may even hurt, but then all in all are all break-ups the same and at one point you just don't care anymore and well; At least out of this ashes may come a Wally who writes more into his blog again.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Rant over the Sun

The sun isnt allowed to be round and so is the moon. Like earth both are square in a square world, at least they should be... and if the moon has phases it could still be square, its so sad. i liked the squared moon :(

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Two days passed...

... and after returning after 7pm now twice in a row i realised that university is in fact stressful, but it's not the kind of stress you would hate, it's more like a challenge. The tasks we have are complicated, but after hours of looking at formula at some point the solution just pops up in your head and it makes it all good. Also the time in university is fun, because you can work the way you like to work. You can make breaks whenever you like when you have no lecture. It feels like being new in school again. Everything is new and everything is awesome and it finally makes fun again. I just hope i may not regret that last sentence later on.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

And then there was illness.

A perfect sunshine thursday morning soon turned into a heavy raining storm autumn day and that day i just had to forget my jacket at home. i realised i was missing my jacket in car, but thought it wouldnt be a big deal when it was sunshine anyways. And now i sit here with a cold and a hot cup of green tea.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

University Start

So tuesday the next part of my life started. we got first instructions and i met some new friends. Friday is the next day i have to go to get my maths instructions and information, but i will head to the university on thursday too. On thursday i want to get my shedule done, get more information on several other things and get the wireless internet password. the train connection isnt too bad to the university though i have to be 1 hour before start at Kempen to get my train. now i just hope that i won't have many days i have to be at university before 9AM.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Updates like Crazy

So with 1.9 getting more and more informations and again a second test version being out minecraft is updating a lot. A lot of new stuff is added and information on even newer stuff is coming up daily. This happens because in 3 weeks the new stuff is supposed to stop completally for a whole month so the makers can use all their time to fix problems instead (which is needed a lot) and make the game perfect, because one month later it goes out of beta for the full release. Creating big projects is quite pointless, because with every update old worlds won't work properly anymore.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Project Palace Day 2

Today i finished the main hall and the inner wall. Then i continued with the outer wall, but figured out after building the 4 towers that i made a mistake at one point or another, because it was 201x200 blocks of an area in the end. Beside that everything worked out fine. Because the inner things aren't symmetrical it doesnt matter that the walls were one block off. After finishing all that stuff i started making all the inner things, a forest, a spring and a farm were the first things i did. The rest of it i may do tomorrow.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Project Palace Day 1

- Now -
with SPC for 1.8.1 out, i'm starting to create a giant palace project i thought about a while back. This is my first really big project and it's working quite well. I started with making a flat area to built on, a foundation. i started in mountains next to a big desert in the seed "palace", which seemed to be the perfect location. First i made a flat area of 150x150, but soon realised that this will never be enough space, so i made the area bigger to 200x200. Right after that i build cobblestone lines to represent 50x50 block areas, so i know exactly where the middle is and how i can make a layout. After i have done this i planned on a paper how much space i need for the middle towers. i made two big halls on top of each other and on top of them i started to plan where exactly i built the 5 towers and how far from each other. after that worked out well i created the 4 surrounding towers then the middle tower and then i worked on the bridges in between, looked at what i have built again and decided to make the middle tower a bit bigger. Now it reaches the cloud layer so cannot be made any taller. After i finished i created the upper hall. Windows made ladders inside and a lot of glowstone. After i finished all that i planned the towers surrounding the 5 main towers and thought that 8 observation towers would look quite nice. So i created all these and then made little springs between them to give it a better athmosphere. This all was about 5 hours of work and i still have a lot work to do.

Friday, September 23, 2011

New Computer

So i got my laptop. i wanted to get one from the internet but my dad found a good one for a great price in a shop which is near so i went with that one instead. i installed the first few things i need and tested out the webcam. yesterday also the new minecraft update came out and considering our server is on the old version, which is less buggy anyway, i will probably install 1.8.1 on my laptop and leave 1.9 on my normal computer so i dont have to switch the jar files over and over again.

Thursday, September 22, 2011



The Pandanian Odyssey III

[...] After nearly twenty years of insanity and the wrath of the gods Toutous lost his crew and his ship. he got washed ashore unconsiousless and barely alive and was shortly after seen by germanian troops who still were on guard to look for him. After all this years his father was weak and grey. The germanic kingdom was now smaller than ever due to waves of enemies attacking the towns and communities. When Toutous reached the letter to his father, Wallus smiled and gave Toutous his crown to reign the country for the better.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

two days later

Dohmen had the idea for a spontanous LAN, i didnt think they would stay over night, nor did i not think that it would end in me playing alone on the server, because i cannot play a game they were playing most of the time, but that's how it went. Then again at one point Dohmen came into the server, cheated himself TNT and blew his own yet unfinished castle apart. In the meanwhile i finished a farm, finished the gravel pathways, built little pyramids, built a little intersection building and finally sorted out all of our chests. Slowly our world gets nicer and nicer with more manmade structures. Feng sadly had a big problem to connect the night so we have no underground track system yet, which may be the next big plan for the server.

Monday, September 19, 2011

finally SMP time

so today was the second day of SMP with friends and after we had a starting day with gathering resources and making first steps, a ladder down a mountain and capturing the surrounding area. today i built a new middle sized house for us and soon we will make tracks to connect the crucial parts of our world.

Sunday, September 18, 2011



Saturday, September 17, 2011

minecraft next project

why building a castle when i can build a palace. i draw ideas on paper and probably really go with a montrous project. there is no way i will do it without SPC this time though. so i have to wait for the new SPC first. also i have to be careful to not hit the top of the map, i had to shrink some towers already because minecraft has so many restrictions in that point. but it still will probably work out.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Pandanian Odyssey II

Felia in all her misery went down the latter to heaven and headed eastwards, halfway to the big waterwall to the Pandanian Carnival. Toutous was heading eastwards over the ocean already, fighting against the winds and always orientating himself by the stars and the sun. At the carnival Felia searched for her son, but after one weekend her powers were fading and she needed to head back to the heavens to continue her search overseeing more of the world. Weeks passed and a traveller reached germania and news spread about the search of Felia at the carnival. King Wallus immediatly sent a troop of strong soldiers for the search westwards, knowing his son Toutous would try to travel over the big oceans to germania. Toutous was in the middle of the ocean already when his ship leaked water and he had to stop with his crew on a little island.

Monday, September 12, 2011

the second hour => fine tuning (2)

6. It was time for the fine tuning. the walls were finished, now it was time for giving this big building a castle look. first i made a nice castle look for the edge of the walls. i really like to top things off with halfstones.

2:04 it looked like this already. so less, for so much appearance2:10 nightview ~ i think i also added more torches
(like all pictures click to enlarge)
7. i was thinking about how to do other stuff and also make more light and came up with a very nice idea to make the top pieces of my corner towers. i made a 4 side pinacle top with lightstone inside. it really worked out perfectly because its now possible to make stairs, halfblocks and full blocks out of one material, which is the only way to make it look like this.

2:31 i finished them up.
8. it was time to fill the middle more. the next step for me was also to get a way up. i thought about making a flat middle building (storage) and stairs on the side or making a high middle building with a ladder inside. i decided for the last after i saw that i still had these metal doors that still led to nowhere and also i wanted the top floor to be reachable. i also made halfstones on the whole outline just to make the contrast higher.

2:37 the tower was completed
9. making the doorlights, walkways from side to side. after 20 more minutes at 2:52 i started making my last photos.

Two hours in creative mode (1)

i downloaded the pre-release out of boredom and rebuilt the castle i made in classic with limitations in a little over two hours.

1. First i searched for a nice spot to build my castle. at one point i found a kind of flat area with a little village next to it. the next step was making the footprint of my castle with obsidian and flattening all the area around it.

2. Inside the Towers i made stone as a foundation. It went rather quick and then i made the first construction picture.
0:52 Tower foundation complete!

3. the next step was making a floor for the inner parts of the castle. i just made a wooden floor.
0:58 Floor complete after much lagging
4. now it was time to make the full outlining of the castle. 2 floors for the 6x6 towers and 3 floors for the 9x9 towers. It was a pretty monotonous work...
1:10 it was completed

5. Now it was time for the most annoying part. filling all this walls with different types of stone glass and doors...

1:42 After a long half hour it looked like this
1:59 Another 15minutes later it looked like this

Saturday, September 10, 2011

minecraft leak

so yesterday the minecraft adventure update leaked and immediatly after youtube got flooded by new videos of the new stuff. the version still is very bugged, so i will only update my version when it really comes out in a few days (if it comes out and isnt postponed again, which seems more and more likely the more i think about it).
most of the additions look very promissing though. the new mobs, the new blocks and the new terrain is quite great looking and the creative mode is probably the best part of the update, but im still unsure if its possible to change back to survival in single player, which makes me quite worried.

Friday, September 9, 2011

The Pandanian Odyssey I

And Then Felia, goddess of love, raised her voice, so that all of what was left on earth could hear her futile cries. And all men fell silent, looked into the heavens and knew the tragedy without ever knowing the story. Her son Toutous, half human, half god, son of Wallus, ancient king of germania, was heading westwards down the six heavens to bring his father a letter from his mother. But then a strong wind blew him further eastwards. The strong winds took him from the sky and shattered all of his remains on the most eastern land, directly in front of the big blue sea. Toutous, having lost his wings and godmade armor, knew he was lost, but little did he know that he was lost in the big Pandanian Land. He lost his conciousness while roughly landing on a boulder and waking up on the big stoney beach, seeing the letter he was about to bring home flying across the ocean. Toutous knew that he had to follow his letter to furfill his task and so he went to the nearest port city, the metropolis of Oceania, the last bastion before the dark blue roughless sea. Toutous searched for the strongest and cleverest men he was able to find and bought a ship to cross the ocean. At that moment he heard his mothers scream in vain and knew that she had lost him in the eye of the storm. Toutous and his crew were alone against the natures strongest and most evil power in the dark of the ocean and no god was able to help them so near at the edge of the world. And so the Odyssey began, a crew travelling eastwards to the border of imagination and sanity to bring back the letter of a god, meant for the king of germania.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

changed layout

i think its pretty obvious i changed the layout slithly of my blog. the good side and reason i made it is, because the side of my blog was unused mostly. now it should fill a normal screen pretty much. the bad thing that might come with it is that pictures of old posts may be on the wrong place now and the posts may look distorted, but well i think it won't be too bad.

date moved

in the time waiting the minecraft update release date was moved to another unknown date. in the meanwhile i played that one day a bit more classic and built myself a little castle, which would be aweseom to feature a piston bridge and light sources if it was available in classic. it also was griefed before i even finished building.

Monday, September 5, 2011

epic october week

4. october - i start university
5. october - south park season 15 continues
7. october - the human centipede II comes into theaters (obviously not in my country though)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Plans for the week

Next week are a few things planned. First off i plan to see the fifth Final Destination with my sister and probably other friends when we do a Final Destination marathon before. Also i get my hair cut radically, shorter than i had it in the last probably 2 years, it's time for a change :). And most importantly the Adventure Update for minecraft is coming out and i think i will probably build a little city or town in the following days. I started playing minecraft in 2009 before indev came out. One time i bought the alpha then but never really played it much, because i always prefered classic much more, because its more creative and easier to build things. With 1.8 this has finally an end though and i can start building in the new creative mode.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Creative Mode

So apparently Minecraft Beta 1.8 comes out soon and with it finally a creative mode for single player, which i was waiting for since i bought the game. the only thing that i rather dislike is that the highest point on the single player map is at 127 blocks which isnt really high enough to really create great stuff, but maybe that changes too at one point.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Final Destination 5

- possible spoiler alert -

Okay i saw the fifth installment of the franchise and am now to judge how good it was conpared to the others. First off the movie was one of the best. the death scenes were creative and not as over done as some in the fourth movie. The ending was the best in the whole franchise by far. I did not see it coming how it went out and it was amazing. the vision scene was kinda overkill again and unrealistic, but it was just a vision and we used to see that unreal stuff that everything is just doomed to go wrong i guess. the characters weren't boring, because like in FD3 there was one guy who kinda gets a bit insane, which i liked in this one. The returning of the coroner was a really good plot point, especially with the twist in the end. all in all the series really got back to its roots and brought back cool element we were missing out at least in the fourth movie. And the good things of the fourth movie, the extreme long waiting for some kills and the graphic comic like element of the kills stayed in the fifth movie. it's like they learnt their mistake and came back to what the series was like. A very great movie.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

unrequested tranquility

i worked on TLN without considering much music yet. yesterday i wanted to use the day for the creation of some test music to bring more excitement to the creation, only to found out after hours of testing and trying that music doesn't work on windows 7 in my current version. till a new version is available i won't be able to create music inside my game. that said i will probably have to leave the sound out for a long period of time now, which is sad, but inevitable...

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Sickness v1.5

Yesterday night i got sick with a massive headache and stomache ache. It didn't change my day routine at all though. Without being sick i would have watched tv and played on the computer the exact same way i did today anyway. I worked on TLN further and got a few things done. I still have a lot of things to change, but i still could wrap it up a bit. The second major saw influence got into shape *cough*brain surgery*cough*. how i executed one room isn't perfect yet, but i havn't finished drawing stuff there, yet, so i leave it like this till it's drawn.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Killing the Prime Evils

While making a break from drawing and making TLN, i installed Diablo 2 with Yvonne. I remember that i killed Diablo before, but i didnt remember to have finished Act V before. Last night i killed Baal, the last of the three prime evils and therefor finishing the game on normal for my first time. In Multiplayer i'm right now at the arcane sanctuary in Act 2 with Yvonne and i wonder if i can catch up on nightmare with us. But that also means that i have to play further and i hope when i return to TLN i can creatively continue my work.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

The problem with items and locations

Yesterday i knew how to continue the story and created a bunch of items i used for that part, but the problem is that i can't just lay them in a shelf around for every one to easily pick up, that would be pointless. i need to hide them, but that's the problem. i am not yet sure where to hide them and how to get them, so i need to create new areas to just lock them up somewhere to make it not too easy. Before it was the other extreme. i had a lot of locations but no items to hide. But i'm sure im creative enough to get that stuff fixed. Another funny thing is how i found a typo. a friend whose english isnt the best looked words up he didnt know and stumbled upon ripcage. obviously he didnt find a translation for ripcage, because its called ribcage, he asked me and i was like ok i gotta change that immediatly.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

fast tester is fast

After a few days of constructing the game i thought i was quite ahead my tester, especially after some hard things to figure out i thought i could slow down my speed in drawing, but then there was grincat. she actually played the game already to the current end and there is no way i can give her a much updated version in the next days. But well i still have enough ideas what to do next so maybe i make some tricky things inside so this game gets a bit harder the further you get. it gets anyway because there are more and more areas where things could be combined. so when i let her without clues what to do next, i may get the step ahead again that i was. Also i let Meg play the game and it showed me some flaws i didnt realise. So i improved some things and made the whole game a bit smoother i think. Still i need to build up some story next though and of course more cool elements to continue and discover.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Slowly taking shape

My game is slowly taking shape. It's still in the beginning stage, but i have already some hidden things and plans to continue on. It finally has an outline and style i can follow and creating new areas becomes routine. I even managed to make a shock value inside without even planning to do it. At least Yvonne was kinda shocked while testing and that with my bad drawing skills haha. It's kinda cartoonish horror and my mind is full of wicked ideas too make this more gruesome. When then music is added at some point it will be just awesome.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

New Projects & Random Thoughts

With my plan to neglecting facebook for other projects, i also come back to my beloved blog. Actually Yvonne created an own blog and told me to write in here again is what made me finally come here. Lately i am often just in SSC, playing games, currently The Lost Crown, before i finished Septerra Core for the first time, maybe i should write another entry about it. My new project is to recreate my old adventure game that some of you may remember. I do not really remember what it was called, but i do remember the things i made and some flaws i made that i try to not do again (you had to "use battery with dark room" to make a flashlight work, instead of "combining battery with flashlight"). For people interested in testing and playing my new adventure game just contact me and i give it to you (now i also have a full version of the program which means its a simple setup for the game). I just worked about 4 hours on it yet and it only consists of about 10 screens and a few items to find and use, but it's a start.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Head translating

Learning a language, when speaking two languages already fluently can be tricky. With latin there was nothing similar to what i am now facing, due to the fact that it is a dead language. When reading texts in german or english i am not able to clearly translate words or sentences, because you start to think in that language at some point. Now for chinese my head translates the sentences before i can understand the sentence often. Easy words already stay the chinese word, but complex structures i often try to translate in my head. Some structures are similar to english structures. As an example there are sentences that are very much like If-Clauses. So i translate them to If in my head anyway, complex words i translate to german or english, considering what makes more sense at that point in my head, so in the end i have a translated sentence in my head that consists of chinese, english and german parts. It works for me till i am able to actually "think" in chinese like i do in german and english, but it already shows me that it will be hard for me to translate stuff for anyone, if it's not just for my understanding.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

two big steps to a better language

With my last post i feel a lot safer in chinese writing. I make less and less mistakes and seem to choose the right word for things i have to translate more often than choosing words that are similar, but do not fit at all. When i began i had no idea about grammar and sentence structure, that was the first step to get to texts that at least make a bit sense. Lately i learnd to write more complex structures. How to use the chinese version of the if-clauses and it also helped to get a better understanding of the whole grammar tense structures. That now most of my sentences are still not perfect, but will at least make sense to a native speaker i will not post a correction right under it. Also mostly to save space on the page, too. Corrections may be posted as comments or just hints for wrong words be mentioned below. Probably my blog will feature more and more posts in chinese on my process of learning.

Sunday, March 20, 2011





我想再写汉语在这里, 可是我不知道什么时候。

^^to write this it took me over an hour and probably it is hardly right, i really do suck at chinese^^

correction (by yvonne):




(totally correct)



Saturday, March 5, 2011

Most Epic McDonald's Story Ever

Auch noch von allen die noch kommen werden (schamloses Dingens-Ripoff).
Aber erstmal von vorne... Heute waren wir, also Ich und Gogo auf einem DVD Abend eingeladen. Der war zum Einen hammer geil und am Ende war Ich auch gut betrunken, wobei ich der einzige war der getrunken hat, was eine Schande. Danach sind wir nach McDonalds gefahren. Es war ein umweg bis nach Kempen, aber was tut man nicht alles für einen Burger. McDonalds hatte bereits geschlossen, obwohl wir noch eine halbe Stunde Zeit hatten, also sind wir rüber gefahren zum Drive-Thru... Als wir am Ausgang von McDonalds stehen, frage ich, ob Ich ihn im Auto essen darf und Giesen hat sich entschlossen auch einfach einen Burger zu essen obwohl er mitten im Ausgang stand, aber es kam ja kein Auto. Giesen packt seinen Burger aus und als ich hingucke denke ich einen Monat ich habe zu viel getrunken, weil der Burger angebissen war ohne, dass ich Giesen reinbeissen gesehen habe. Ich sehe den Burger einen Moment lang verdutzt an... Giesen sieht den Burger einen Moment lang verdutzt an. Der Moment der Stille wurde dann von einem zu tiefst entsetztem WHAT THE FUCK Moment gestört. Wir parken auf dem Parkplatz und Giesen geht sich beschweren. Gogo, die es noch nicht verstanden hat was passiert ist, fragt mich, doch ich bin am heulen und lachen und kann mich nicht halten. Ich habe fast 5 Minuten an der frischen Luft gebraucht um ihr zu antworten was passiert ist. Giesen geht sich in der Zwischenzeit am Drive-Thru Schalter beschweren. Die Frau sagt nur "Echt wirklich" und Giesen denkt sich ein "Ne, Ich komme wegen einem Bissen nochmal hierhin". Danach denke ich mir nur: Wie verstrahlt kann man sein?! Man kann in einem Burger spucken und die Kunden würden es nie merken, aber reinbeissen ist das offensichtlichste was man tun kann und zeugt ja nur von der Ach-Scheiß-Drauf-Einstellung, die man den ARbeitern in Fast-Food-Ketten eh schon nachsagt. Als wir dann noch zuhause ankamen habe ich auch noch gemerkt, dass mein Burger einen extra Beilag Gurke hatte, obwohl ich ohne Gurke bestellt hatte und dann frage ich mich, wie scheiße muss man sich fühlen wenn man dort arbeitet, oder besser wie viel LSD haben die Mitarbeiter vorher geschluckt?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Prison Break III

Erstes Jahr
Zweites Jahr

Neues Jahr, Andere Methoden. Wie jedes Jahr wird hier wieder eine spannende Geschichte zum alljährlichem Ausbruch. Doch in diesem letzten Jahr ist alles anders gekommen. Als alt eingesessener Häftling wurde uns zu Teil alles zu bewachen und es wurden Listen rund gegeben, die dafür sorgten, dass alle Alt-Insassen auch bis zum Ende da blieben. Deshalb schien es mir am lukrativsten von vorne herein einen Präventivschlag auszuführen und dem Lager zu entkommen ohne erst wirklich hinein geraten zu sein.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Spontanes Planen, Spontanes Absagen

Gegen den Karnevalsfrust wäre eine geflegte Hausparty das perfekte Mittel und nach der Zusage meines Vaters, dass er zum Wochenende das Haus verlässt wurden sofort Pläne in Angriff genommen. Nachdem 12 Personen eingaladen wurden, auch wenn es nur auf Facebook oder mit einer SMS war kam dann schon bald darauf die ernüchternde Wahrheit ans Licht. Mein Vater hatte Bereitschaft und muss nun doch arbeiten, dadurch haben sich nicht nur seine Pläne für das Wochenende verschoben. Nachdem ich nun alle Personen wieder ausgeladen habe, muss ich einsehen, dass es wohl wieder ein langes Wochenende ohne Party wird. Etwas ähnliches ist mir am Morgen schon in der Schule widerfahren. Erst heißt es, dass die 7.-9. Stunde ausfällt und dann ist es doch nur die 7. Stunde, doch nach der Vorfreude konnte ich einfach nichtmehr länger in der Schule bleiben. Das selbe nun schon wieder und dabei ist es viel schlimmer etwas zugesichert zu bekommen und es dann nicht machen zu können, als es von vorne hinein zu wissen, dass es nicht klappen wird.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Und das war es dann mit der Vorabi

Mathe lief endlich wie Biologie. Alles was man gelernt hat kam letztendlich garnicht dran und stattdessen waren die Aufgaben schwierig zu verstehen und noch schwieriger umzusetzen. Ganz unten in kleiner Schrift stand dann auch noch, dass man alles was man gerade getan hat doch bitte anders macht und zwar mit der Normalverteilung und nicht der genauen Binomialverteilung. Die Analysisaufgaben waren zudem noch sehr merkwürdig formuliert und dann waren Aufgaben vorhanden, die man sonst nur aus Zusatzaufgaben kennt die dann über 1- oder glatte 1 endscheiden. Diesmal war aber die Klausur voll von solchen Aufgaben und es sieht wohl schlecht aus meinen Schnitt aufrecht zu erhalten... Urlaub im Sommer Ade =/

Thursday, February 24, 2011

And yet the next anniversary

So already it is 2 months. With all the school stress lately time still seems to rush. Probably because the study for the next exams are nothing compared to the doubts for the education after school. For our anniversary we cannot see each other, because she is in Berlin and i am writing a big math-test tomorrow. For next week it would be perfect to meet up, because i have so much free time after the tests and on the Karneval vacation, which i hate anyway. When i cannot see her i will probably be bored for nearly a week, when there is noone making a real party and noone being free, but only bad music and stuff. I either have to get an own party started then or study by that time. Best would be to meet up with my girlfriend though.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Bio-Vorabi geschafft

Die schlimmste der Vorabitur Klausuren ist überstanden. Die Aufgaben waren ziemlich blöd gestellt und man wusste nicht was man schreiben sollte, dazu kam noch dass mehr Chemie in der Klausur war als ich erhofft habe (nämlich garnichts). Von den 2 Evolutionsaufgaben die zur Wahl standen schien eine komplett mit Chemie voll zu sein und deshalb habe ich sie schon früh zur Seite gelegt, die andere war dann ganz in Ordnung. Für die Klausur hoffe ich jetzt das ich irgendwie auf eine 3 oder besser komme, aber sieht aus als könnte sich das als schwierig erweisen. Freitag steht nun Mathe auf dem Plan.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Happy Blogday!

Eigentlich wollte ich Donnerstag schon reinschreiben, aber habe dann doch deinen Geburtstag vergessen, nimm es mir nicht übel, Blog x) Jaja, wir haben schon viel zusammen durchgemacht^^

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

127 Hours

If a movie nominated deserves the oscar, it is this movie. I havn't seen the other movies, but i pretty much dislike the movies made by the best well-known directors and the most expensive films. 127 Hours was a simple movie, and a good one. Innovative and although it was located nearly only on one place not boring at any moment. Badly the ending was spoiled for me, but still it managed to capture me, one of the few movies i actually care for the main character and not hate him. I would watch it in german theaters again, but there are two main problems, the first one is that the movie is probably not as cool in german. I saw the trailer and the voice was just funny, and it is not supposed to be funny at all. And the second problem is that the movie was rated FSK 12. I cannot believe that this R Rated movie gets rated 12 in germany without being heavily censored. I mean most R-Rated movies get censored and then still are FSK 18 or even Spio JK on DVD if not banned. But this is no horrormovie but drama, so it may not be that bad. And yet there is not much to cut out, only that it still ruins the whole shape of the movie.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


So the big studying for the next tests began. When you come back from school at 4pm you are already tired, but i still try to study till 6pm. With the new books i bought its kinda easy, but after an hour it gets already hard to concentrate. My tests are next week on tuesday and friday and they are about 300 minutes long i think. To assure that i actually study my girl will not stay over for the weekend, so i get bored, so i study... Badly that also means that i will not see her for two weeks, because she is going to berlin. But well, what could i do.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

I do not know why, but it never reached me. Two years ago i became a couple with a girl on a friday the 13th febuary, the day before valentine's day and watched saw with friends the day on valentine's day, so the days were kinda switched and i did not really celebrate it. Last year my girlfriend of that time was home on valentine's day and yet it was a bit far to meet her on that day. This year i'm in the middle of school stress and do not have time to even think about valentine's day. The first of may was kinda always more of a day for me to do something for the girl i heart, yet it is also a better day to drink and do something funny, so that i do not need the 14th febuary at all.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Abi, was dann?

Nachdem Ich weiter im Internet gestöbert habe studiere Ich nun wahrscheinlich in Köln Wirtschaftsmathematik wenn alles klappt. Mathematik liegt mir und Wirtschaft interessiert mich, deshalb liegt es nahe. Ich werde in Richtung VWL, statt BWL gehen und hoffentlich ein Auslandssemester im vierten Semester machen können, wobei es dann auch von meinen Noten abhängt. Mit meinem Vater muss ich das dann bald mal besprechen und gucken wie es dann mit Wohnung oder ähnlichem aussieht. Der Vorteil an Köln ist, dass es nicht weit weg ist und ich dann eh jedes Wochenende wieder nach Hause kommen kann falls Party ansteht oder so. Denn ich denke dann ist Köln doch zu weit und es lohnt sich nicht statt dahin zu ziehen mit Zug jeden Tag zu fahren.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Tasty Planet

The last few days i played a game called Tasty Planet, actually 2 games with that name. I first played it on armorgames and then downloaded the full version on my phone, after finishing it i downloaded the sequel of the game which was already out. The game is about a grey goo, the most hungry girl ever. It eats everything smaller than itself to grow. Starting with bacteria, pollen, peddles, rice corns, ants, over cats, humans and tanks up to whole planets, solar systems, galaxies and the whole universe. A very nice game for boring days, but hard to earn medals to get to the later and bonus levels. Next time when my girl is over, we will try the co-operative modus.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

The Long-Hair-Problematic

Problematic: Your girlfriend has long hair and when she takes your shower after a while your drain is clogged. You could simply unclog it, but you are too lazy and search for other solutions. The problem now looks like that G (Girlfriend) * H (long hair) > D (what the drain is allowed to sustain without getting clogged)

G = cons > 0
H = var.
D = cons > 0
c = less than, the opposite of >, to solve a Html problem

1. Simple solution: G*HcD+I, but because i am too lazy this does not work.

2. Making one of the parameters Zero to get less than D
a) 0*HcD, this works, but i am not going to kill my girlfriend to solve this problem.
b) G*0cD, so yeah i'm totally shaving my girlfriend bald, wait... no I am not, there has to be another solution.

3. Change the variable to get under D
G*hcD, this works, but my girlfriend does not suit short hair at all, at least it's better than shaving her bald i guess, but give me another solution!

4. Alternating reality
a) G*HcD+G, letting her unclog it. Really? That ain't an option
b) 0cD, not letting her shower anymore, wow that's rude and doesn't work over weekends. Now give me something useful!
c) 0=0, ignoring the problem completally, well this is best, but yet needs to get improved
d) 0=0 v xcD=-B, ranting over my blog because of this and ignoring the problem, damn that works fine

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Fight for your life

And here we go again. I was in Team Red. I never was worse than the average player with my stats, but still it wasn't enough to give me a better place than 5 in the last and 9 out of 22 players in the regular games. Nevertheless it was epic. What bucks me is that sometimes my team just ran away and i stood there alone between the two other colors and then finding a way out costs you about 4 lifes, especially when they follow you. After those three rounds i was sweaty and tired and had no voice and my girlfriend had nothing of those things. With 150 shots in a round and about 15 kills and 15 times killed, she wasn't that bad at all, but the point is to make a lot of kills even if you die a lot, so she still didn't make it under the Top 20. That was similar to my first time player when i died 2 times and killed 27 and had the best kill/death ratio, but found out later that this is the point of paintball, but lasertag works different. After all this i took an ice cold shower and cannot wait for the next time we'll play.

Sunday, January 30, 2011


Wieso habe ich eigentlich immer Glück, wenn nicht um Geld gespielt wird. Am Wochenende habe ich zwei mal mit fünf Punkten beenden können. Stattdessen wird nur mein T-Shirt bemalt. Ich weiß auch nicht wieso ich ein komplett schwarzes T-Shirt besitze haha. Ich habe es einfach im Schrank gefunden.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Das Wörtervergess-Syndrom

Wer im Laufe seines Lebens verschiedene Sprachen gelernt hat und sie auch ausserhalb des Schulbetriebs einsetzen muss, der weiß wohl wovon ich rede. Ein deutsches Wort zu vergessen und ein englisches zu wissen passiert mir tagtäglich. Manche englische Wörter werden im Laufe der Zeit einfach einprägsamer als das deutsche Gegenstück dazu. Wenn man nun noch auf englisch denkt an einem bestimmten Zeitpunkt, dann passiert dies noch häufiger. Jetzt mit dem Erlernen einer neuen Sprache wird dies noch seltsamer. Mir ist es nun mehrere Male passiert, dass mir ein deutsches und englisches Wort entfallen war, aber ich das chinesische kannte. Dummerweise passiert es mir nur wenn auch kein anderer dabei ist, der chinesisch spricht. Das erste mal war es "不客气", was soviel heißt wie "bitte schön", also das englische "you're welcome". Da hat es aber nicht lange gedauert und mir fiel dann schon die englische und deutsche Entsprechung ein. Das zweite mal war es das Wort "肉末" (Hackfleisch/mincemeat). Das Hack mincemeat heißt, weiß ich auch erst seit gerade und das deutsche Wort wollte mir einfach nicht einfallen. Ich habe mit irgendjemandem über Essen diskuttiert und mir fiel das Wort einfach nicht ein. Ich denke es war vorgestern, auf jedenfall noch nicht lange her, dass ich wissen wollte wie ein Rehkind, also wie ein junges Reh genannt wird, also gab ich einfach in meinen Übersetzter "小鹿" ein um zu sehen was er als deutsches Wort ausgibt und nun weiß ich das sie Kitz heißen, beziehungsweise auch Kalb wie bei Rindern.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Future Tallest Buildings

So here a list of the tallest planned, buildings under construction or already built skyscrapers. Just writing for random reasons. I searched Skyscraperpage and Skyscrapercity for information, but still skipped some unlikely buildings and also only featured buildings with a hight of 530m and higher.

Kingdom Tower (Jeddah) - 1000m+ - Planned
There were previous news on the building starting construction 3 weeks later, but it didn't. There are reasonable rumors, that there was a ground testing that gave caused more problems. Currently the project seems to stand still. But in summer Cityscape Jeddah might give it a chance for a real start.

Burj Khalifa (Dubai) - 828m - Build 2010
The currently tallest structure on earth has no thread by any skyscraper or even tower at the moment. It might change when KT starts, but for now it stays the tallest one.

India Tower (Mumbai) - 720m - Under Construction
The tallest building that is currently under construction. The working is still on ground level and the problem about India and skyscrapers is that it is hard to get news and updates.

Shizimen CBD Tower (Zhuhai) - 680m - Planned
Not much information

Sky City (4 cities in China) - 666m - Planned
With new technology it is planned to build 4 of these monsters in rapid speed in four major cities. Wether it is just vision or actually feasable soon is written in the stars.

Baietan Tower (Guangzhou) - 650m - Planned
Standing between Guangzhou and Foshan, a new business district where this tower is located will probably link both cities making them one even bigger one.

Pingan International Finance Centre (Shenzhen) - 648m - Under Construction
The Construction was slow when it started, but soon the project might catch up more speed.

Light Tower (Seoul) - 640m - Planned
More than unlikely, because South Korea yet disappointed a lot before with projects of similar height that never came true.

Shanghai Tower (Shanghai) - 632m - Under Construction
Probably the most exiting building at the moment, because it is fast rising at the moment and when it is finished it will take the second place for the tallest skyscraper for a while.

Tianlong Fortune Center (Nanning) - 628m - Planned

Abraj Al-Bait (Mecca) - 601m - Nearly Finished
The most massive hotel building in a city that features no other nameable skyscrapers due to the special situation the city is in with its millions of tourists.

151 Incheon Towers (Incheon) - 601m - Probably Cancelled or shortened
It was one of my favorite projects, but still South Korea is South Korea and the project will most likely not rise at all.

Shenzhen International Trade Center (Shenzhen) - 600m - Planned
I read today that it might need to get changed and shortened, but still there are no official statements. Just a matter of time to find out though.

Goldin Finance 117 (Tianjin) - 597m - Under Construction
The Construction is slow, but it will catch up speed soon i guess

Lotte World Tower (Seoul) - 555m - Unlikely

Doha Convention Center (Doha) - 551m - Hard to find any news

Freedom Tower (New York City) - 541m - Under Construction
It is growing fast and brings the World Trade Center back to New York.

Chow Tai Fook Centre (Guangzhou) - 530m - Under Construction
It is on ground working and slow, but may turn up the speed after CNY. Guangzhou has a huge building boom and just finished the tallest tower in the world (soon to be topped by Tokyo though)

Chow Tai Fook Binhai Center (Tianjin) - 530m - Planned
Preparation already started. When it gets build it stands about 60km away from Goldin Finance.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Mystery of Alcohol and Food

Yesterday i was at Comix in Kempen again. Havn't be there for months although i really love to eat there. It's funny that i often do not manage to eat the whole plate unless i'm drinking. It's everywhere though, when i'm not drinking i cannot eat much at all, but when i have a cocktail i can finish my meal and even steal from my girlfriends plate more fries. When i'm eating Pizza the same phenomenon works too though. Normally i finish my pizza, but i have to fight harder to eat a big one without a little drink. The good thing is that i really like to eat a lot, i love to eat myself full and even better s that i love drinking, so yeah works perfectly.

Friday, January 21, 2011

back but busy

From Monday to thursday i was on a pretty boring school trip and wasn't able to come online and therefor neither write here. Today Gogo is coming over and staying till sunday. Probably i will not be able to write much either. Next week i will start getting all my school stuff in order and start studying on a daily basis. If i have more time to write here then is a different question, but at least i want to keep my chinese writting from time to time on my blog going.

Thursday, January 13, 2011



correction by gogo:


Wednesday, January 12, 2011



correction by cheese tree:

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Hello World

So after the vacation obviously school started again and friday i will get my last school certification before my big final exams. At the end of febuary i have the first row and in may the important real ones. I'm pretty sure it will be annoying to sit in a chair writing for a whole school day for the exams, but shouldn't be a too hard task. For preparation i should get ready next week. I plan to get my stuff in order, so i can make a weekly plan for studying that i hopefully will stick to. But in order to do that i need to have all stuff in place and not a chaotic mess, that i tend to prefer in daily life. After i finished my last exams, hopefully with a good result i will have about 2 months free time. Then i may make a vacation and maybe get to take a trip to the far east. After that i shall start university, but of course before i can do that i need to get more information about universities and have to make the decission then, where to stay.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Goodbye Vacation

And welcome back school. The vacation kinda seemed long though considering the events happening. Getting a new girlfriend, celebrating Chrstmas, celebrating New Year, got 5 postcards, was writting in the book and now Jens also comes back from his vacation. The real ending celebration for the vacation was kinda missing though. BaCa was awesome, but the BBQ should have been taking place. The good thing with its being moved back to next week though is that Jens is back in germany and can join the first BBQ in the year :)

Friday, January 7, 2011

The book

A while ago i started writing a diary together with my girlfriend. it kinda makes it hard to stay updated on the blog and the book without telling many things twice. The last week i had the book and tomorrow i will give it back to my girl. I'm not yet sure if she can read my terrible hand writing and my terrible slang language i use from time to time, but i hope she does. Today i wrote most pages. I think i wrote about three when i count the one i wrote before going to bed last night at 1AM. But normally i only write one page when i write for the day. I think the book is important, especially for her since i am her first relationship. And i think even when it doesnt work well with us one day she still will have the book to remember the great times. And when we finish the book together we may read it one day completally from begin to end.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Credit to fellow Blogs

Here i give some credit to the Blogs of friends and blogs i follow.
A Lucid Exit is the Blog from an Hojer called Mastae, who always was a funny companion, when i still was a daily member on HoJ, his blog still contains good stories and is updated a few times a week, nearly daily. The blog is completally in english and started August 2010
and the sky is filled with light. can you see it? is the blog of another Hojer and her posts are often about Saw, other movies and shows. She has not posted in a while and i am not sure if she will come back to the blog once again. The blog is in english and started August 2008

C is for Claire is the blog from my exgirlfriend. The Blog is mostly about her life and was the first blog i knew before starting my own one. The blog is mostly in english with also some german posts lately. It is updated in irregular ups and downs like my blog and exists since November 2007.

Irrelevant Musical Numbersis Sad Panda's blog and features fantasy lyrics of songs mostly for Saw-related songs. It is a funny and unique blog, but updated only once in a long time. It began September 2010 and is only in english.
n0afr0 was Samuel's Blog, but only features one blog entry. It will most likely not be further expended. The Blog is in german and started August 2010
Poison is my girlfriend's Blog. The blog started December 2010 and therefor is pretty fresh and has not yet a recurring theme i could explain it with. Mostly it is about our relationship. The Blog is mostly in german and partly in english.
Toc-Toc's Blog is obviously my blog aka The page you are just looking at. The theme is mostly about my life and stuff i found on the webs or elsewhere. I started in Febuary 2009 with it being mostly in german, then it changed to mostly in english and now its about 45% each and the rest is for some posts in chinese i make from time to time.

Shopping with Mum

So today i went with my mum shopping and left about 250 bucks there to get 3 jeans, shirts, boxers, socks, new shoes and stuff and i hope that it is enough for the year unless i make vacation this year in a cheaper country. If i really get to travel to China i surely will travel empty handed and come back with new clothes. I hate shopping, but it still was awesome because in those 2 hours i couldn't wait for my subway sandwich. Havn't eaten one in a long time although it is my favorite fast food.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

For the sake of vacation

For the sake of vacation, this time without school makes me lazy. Waking up after 5PM, being to lazy to study for school nor chinese. Didn't had the moot, but the time to continue my game. No idea what to write in the book and so on. I hope this changes when school starts again. Not that i have even less time with school going on and having a girlfriend again.
~ 你吃我的车 ~


Is there an officer, problem?

So well, my first time the police stopped me for a license plate check and alcohol test. It was 0.00 of course, but could have been different, because shortly before i nearly drank something alcoholic, because i got a glass with a drink and luckily checked the bottle before actually drinking it. Also i played Mahjong again and it was kinda fun, we played about 2 hours this time and i would have lost money this time haha. Later that night before i left to get trapped in a policecontrol at half past 4 in Essen we watched 19 episodes of a childrens show with a mouse and cat who drive in a car made of chocolate, drink whine and afterwards crash and lose all there limbs and stuff. Also it featured cigarrets, plus addiction afterwards. Guns pointing at heads and cake that gets blown to the sky and then becomes a cloud and it rains cakeparts. Best quotation of the whole show is "你吃我的车". it means "You eat my car", but is a lot funnier in chinese because the word for eat and the word for car are very similar.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

So well happy New Year

So this Year not only my birthday got ruined, but also my favorite day of the year yay. I was invited on a party and my girl got us kicked out later we found another party, but there she also wanted to leave early. After we got back home i at least managed to arrange a remote firework special to save the day for me. With rockets fireing in an angle right over the forest and only having a few lights far away it kinda was cool. With biting on little firecrackers you normally throw on the ground the failed party was made a little better. I'm still pretty pissed and hope i still can kinda make a party alone to make me think it was still an awesome begin to the next year. I am kinda afraid though what i gotta explain in school and where not because i was kicked out and what not. FML.