Sunday, February 28, 2010

Second Month

I love you more than i hate the distance between us

Two Months;
And only One Month waiting to see you again. The flight is booked and the trips are being planned. In exactly 4 weeks you will be exiting your plane and hug your boyfriend while leaving the terminal behind. Those 3 months we weren't able to feel and touch each other are long and now we have finished only two-thirds of that long time. But when the time finally has come, it shall be that intense that we don't look back on the waiting and only think that it was worth it.

Last month i wrote about the moments we had and now i will write about the times we will have in one month. Next month we will not only see each other finally again, but in the same few days you have birthday and we are together for three months. I thought about a few things, but havn't really thought everything out, yet and need to plan what exactly i'm about to do with you that day. We will finally go and eat at the Comix. We wanted to go there in december already, but we went there the day it was closed and didn't manage to there there on another day. We also planned to watch a lot of movies like Battle Royale, the detroit metal city movie, repo, wall-e, memento and stuff like that. We may sacrifice one evening for most of the movies while ordering something to eat and lying lazy on the couch or in bed =P

I think we also want to play minigolf, either i just came up with it or we mentioned it on one day as a sidenote. At least i think it may be a cool idea, same for letting you ride a horse, citygirl :D oh and i gotta show you the highland cows or as you would call em *big-mops*
I hope we will have good relative warm weather with nearly zero raining days, so it will be most awesome when we visit different places.

In the second week there will be the biggest event of it all. Our second Amsterdam-Trip! We will go to the Amsterdam Dungeon for sure this time and yes i will hold your hand and we will go to the Live-Porno-Show just for fun =D. Oh yeah and the sex museum of course. I hope we can park outside the city this time though, cause i don't want to pay 50€ for a parking lot again. We may get to eat at the Hadrock Cafe this time or we go to the Sports Cafe again, cause i thought this restaurant was kinda awesome. At night we will sleep in the hostel we found i think its the best deal we can do. i just need to ask around how many friends will stay with us in one room and are willing to share the money then.

We also will go to Belgium, although Merel isn't sure if she really makes a saw-night because there is other stuff going around, but we are still invited to a birthday party there. And we may persuade Merel to still make the saw-night haha.

After two most awesome weeks my school begins and we will have a calmer week i think. On some days when i have cool lessons you may come with me to school and for sports you can join anyways, because its only playing batminton or doing something else there.

After that week we have one last weekend and will have to think about what thing to do as a great ending and then it's time to say goodbye again. But not forever, just until summer. I love you babe and i hope you thought a lot about me on our anniversary :-*

Saturday, February 27, 2010

We like the claire
coz she is close to us
we like the claaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiire!
even as much as a bear
'cause it's useful keeping warm
and a dog isn't very useful for that
unless it has got fluffy hair
and then you might be better off with a
unlike the claire
it is far out the sea
it's out there very far
but not as far
as maybe
the moon or shops
or wal-marts
and maybe bookstores
and doors also I think maybe
they are quite far too
maybe not as far as the claire
coz the claire is very far
we like the claire
the claire is very cuddleful everyone
everybody like the claire
because it light up my heart at night
and it lovely
and it makes my heart beat and we like it
but not as much as saw
we really like saw
we like bockwurst
we really like them
and we like cats and we like dogs
and we like bears and we like claire
and we like all the fluffy animals
we really like the claire

DVD Horror Night

ok knew half of the movies but still cool night. See No Evil was kind of a waste though, but the ruins movie was damn sweet

Jeepers Creepers II
See No Evil

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Life is overrated

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

You just made the worst mistake of your life...
And we've learned that, every day, life should be cherished. Justice is the backbone to every peaceful society. And I believe that true justice has been served.

- Mark Hoffman

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Lost One

Today i was at the post office and because i didnt pay 40€ for a very small package it can't be proved where the package landed and now it's only a matter of luck if the package will ever arrive at my girlfriend or will come back to me. Bob is probably afraid in the little box and i hope he will not be captured in there forever. All letters before i lost in the USA, but this time it's the first time i lost something in Asia. The german postal service might be the best and fastest one, but it doesnt make a difference, when a small package costs 40€ to just be safe for being lost, which happens too often anyways.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Every hero needs a villain, but am i the hero or the villain?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Ending with Zombies

We finally finished the Literatur Movie Filming and probably will get like 5 Minutes of film after 6 times meeting with only filming on 3 places. A lot of work for a little step ahead. Hope at least the movies gives us a good grade in the end...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

One Year Ago

I created this blog. Nah actually in 4 hours its exactly one year ;). It became my diary on some days and random thoughts trash can on others. But i'm still happy i started it. It still features thoughts on different situations and feelings. Damn a lot happened in this one year.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

ok dream was fucked up, but i still share

[23:15:52] Toc-Toc: ok my dream... first off it was about pirates. kind of. haha influenced mostly by my old DSA times though. ok let's start at the beginning. So i watched a show about hollywood stuff and if its realistic and it was about ships, titanic, poseidon etc. so i dreamt about ships. but the ship i dreamt about was a wooden three-master ship. i was captain, you were my wife and we had a lot of guys working for us. on the one side we were not actually on the ship cause it was a game, but on the other side we could move on it like real person, so you loooked like you look like and i looked like i look like only with fitting clothes. That was the a sign that it was a DSA like game and no computer game or something like that. I can tell that it was a game because we had level. i was level 32 and you were level 27. i was captain. i was not the best fighter. so in fighting you could beat me, cause you were a fighter. i was more for trading, ship coordination and things like that. my first general was level 29 and the only one better in fighting than you :P. the rest of the sailors were like level 17 and below. we had maps of the areas with percentages of the enemies. there were kind of "gods" boss enemies. they had the chance 1/1000000 to be met at any place on the world and higher chances in special areas. to get a special "orb" we needed to find a charybdis-like god. the better chance to meat him was in the "deep sea", so we sailed there. the game was no pure sea game though. there was a huge continent, but we were specialised for the sea. So now for the story, we sailed to the deep sea and on the way the first enemy atttacked us. it was a kraken/octupus. kind of purple color. we lost one sailorman but you and my general defeated the kraken. then we got it out the sea and i (because i am the captain haha) could open the kraken x). like in role play games you got money or items after defeating. in this game you had to cut the stomach open of the enemy and in it were the items. there was a golden amulet necklace i presented to you immediatly after clearing and the rest was giving to a level 4 sailorman who had the job to clean it from the kraken blood and stuff. Badly that level 4 character had a low dexterity (Fingerfertigkeit) skill so he lost one golden ring. when he was back he told me that i was mad and hit him with a hook. in the game you will have scars when an attack nearly kills you. he was not that lucky and my attack took him to 4HP. like in DSA thats the edge to fainting. so when he woke up he was like "DAMN I LOVE THAT CHARACTER AND NOW I NEED 2k TO LET THE GAME REMOVE THE SCAR??? IM LEVEL 4 I DONT HAVE 2 FUCKING THOUSAND" and i was like well at least the female chars like scars (wow that rhymes). When we reached the area "Deep Sea" there was a huge sea monster that wrapped itself around the ship like a snake and spoke with a dark voice. It wanted taxes or it would have attacked us if we go further. kind of a way to get noobs out of the area so they wont get in an area that is too hard for them. we had the money though. costed 20k. was worth it cause i knew the Orb would give us special abilities to upgrade the ship and i knew the monsters are great for experience. badly my dream was over then though.

*Claire added*
'Your pirate girl'
Oh let's look at my recent comments :)

"Claire hat gesagt…



so i persuade my father to get the car. get up early and drive to Kaki to finally finish the damn school project, but no the other people don't bother to come or at least to call to tell that they won't come. So we waited for 1 and a half hour only for me to drive back home again...

and for this i couldnt see my girlfriend today...

Die Prüfung

Nun steh ich vor einer schwierigen Probe, die es zu bewältigen gibt. Ich habe kein Navigationssystem und muss meinen Weg nach Kaldenkirchen finden. Werde ich mich verfahren? Werde ich wieder heil nach Hause finden? Kann ich mir den Weg auch länger merken? Nur die Zeit wird diese Fragen klären.

tg;dr: I have to drive to Kaldenkirchen and have no GPS, so i have to remember the way and be lucky.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The curse of Vocabulary

I thought it might be a good idea to download a vocabularytrainer that asks me the vocabulary i need to study. After writing down every difficult words (i already skipped the easy words). I actually saw how much it in fact is. I only wrote down the first two lessons and have over 70 words to study now. Not to mention that i actually should know the vocabulary of lessons 3 by now, too. It will be hard work i think. Luckily it's only the words you don't need that often and question words that are hard.



Saturday, February 13, 2010

Wind Beneath My Wings

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

Friday, February 12, 2010


... we have so many problem we have to solve. distance, language, culture, just everything. And we fight a lot due to mostly random things. But we love each other, we learn languages for each other we plan journeys around the globe for each other, so those little things shouldnt mean anything. In the end they never mean anything, but i hope we soon can manage to not even start those little fights because, although they only last for a few hours they hurt us and hurting us shall be out of our relationship. We will never completally understand each other, but i hope that we can talk about those little things soon, before they become bigger like they do on some days and that we both can forgive each other for little things for the sake of our love.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Prison Break II

Letztes Jahr

Neues Jahr, Neue Mitgefangene, Neue Fluchtwege, Neue Wachen, Das selbe Gefängnis.
Und ein weiteres Mal musste dem Terror der Gefangenschaft entflohen werden. Mein erster Fluchtversuch war auswegslos, weil ich versucht habe einfach auszubrechen bevor überhaupt Wachen eingesetzt wurden, aber da habe ich mich geirrt. Als zweites wollte ich den Fluchtweg vom letzten Jahr nehmen und habe versagt, als ich dann aber einen anderen Flüchtling gefunden habe, haben wir uns zusammen getan und konnten unbemerkt fliehen. Dabei habe ich mir eine Verletzung am Handgelenk zu gezogen, weil ich etwas aus der Übung gekommen war, aber die Flucht war dennoch erfolgreich und wir konnten bereits um 11:11 Uhr die Wachen von hinten sehen wie sie die falsche Seite beschützen.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Saw VII started filming. But still it is called 3D in the name. I hope it won't have this name when it comes out

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

And another game to compete with her

Facebook Games like MyCityLife are just about continuity and not really about being good at something, so i have a chance against my bear =X. They need only time and when she is working all day i have high chances to get faster a higher level, but she has more neighbors who can help her. At the moment we are back to back and in the next days we see how it turns out haha. But still we help each other of course. It is more about seeing how the city grows than making experience fast. x)

Monday, February 8, 2010

You hate to see me being in such misery..Cause you wish you could help and do what I needed.. but you really can't..all you could do is to be there for me over the cam and listen... You really look forward to my coming on april and planned loads of stuff for it to be as memorable and fun.. You love me but you hated the distance between us.. sometimes you felt helpless cause I'm so far away and you want to see me and hug me.. So you only did was to hug companion cube..I believe you would do that every night.. and start thinking of me.. you had me in your mind most of the time and very happy to have me but I'm always mad and complainning.. you barely felt my love for you anymore.. as you start to doubt everytime i complain and get mad.. still you felt helpless cause there's nothing you can do and the last thing you wanted is for us to part and never be friends again..
Cause now.. I'm pretty much the person you needed to stay strong but I'm just as weak as you are.. Everyday your upset about your friends who wasn't in your trust list anymore and scare what will they ever do to you next and also for your ex gf who you hated to the core and never want to ever see her again for she will only remind you what horrible things she've done to you...that will torment your day.. You have hopes for me and I'm the only person you trusted.. You stay strong if not because of me and that keeps you living.. but the only thing now is that I'm always seems to be mad and pushing you away.. feeling unappreciated and confuse.. You really wanna love me but I didn't have all the forcus for you for I have own problems to face..
Now... never lose hope for me.. for I'll be back in your arms once again. Shall we soon leave our past behind us one day and live happier and positive life knowing we have each other :)

Saturday, February 6, 2010


i finally saw it and i loved the movie. Not only was the villain likeable for me, but this time i liked the protagonist too. For the end fight it was really hard to decide for which side you are. The human technology was great. I loved the Walker robots and the UT-like space ships. I never thought the Na'vi would be as tall as they were in the movie and it was a kind of clever idea, because with them flying they were nearly as tall as the planes from the humans. It was a huge and natural based culture against a strong technology based culture. I liked that the fighting in the end was realistic like that the Na'vi had no chance to defend themselves against the humans (without the help of the animals that joined in the end). The 3D Effekt was cool, but the movie wouldnt be worse without 3D i think. i could imagine a sequel and i think i will see the movie again some time.

Time is an Illusion

I thought i would have more time before the past catches up with me. Everything i did seems to repeat. First the cruel remembrance of the time of a few years ago and now this. What broke my neck the last times was that everyone let me fall, everyone i thought i could trust. I don't think i am stronger at all, but i think the bond to the person i trust is stronger. And i hope she will understand and reach me her hand in those hard times that will eventually come again. But only 50 long days left to see you again. And that is where all my hopes are on. I love you and I miss you and I need you.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Facharbeit fertig: ENDLICH!!!!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

verdammt ich hasse diese Facharbeit... Nach dem Essen werde ich sie aber fertig stellen. Ich brauch eigentlich größtenteils nurnoch formales und dann wäre die Sache erledigt. Ich hoffe ich kriege keine 4- oder schlechter dann dafür.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Bought the movie. I thought it can't be bad when you have one of the coolest movies you know in the language you're girlfriend understands. When the school thing is over i will look if it has the *watch in order* option i heard about. That would be cool, especially when you saw it so many times in the non-chronological way. I saw the movie while buying the Valentine's Day present for my wölkchen =)

Monday, February 1, 2010

I stand before, a road that will lead,
Into the unknown - at least unknown to me.
I want to go, but I'm paralyzed with fear.
Fear of a choice, where the outcome isn't clear.

Nooo, but still I gooo.

And I take the first step of a million more.
And I'll make mistakes I've never made before.
But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward.
At least I'm moving forward...

I wonder if the journey will be,
Short as I hope, or much longer than it seems.
But either way, I've made up my mind.
I'm through feeling scared, I'm leaving that behind.

Sooo, Now it's time to gooo.

And I take, the first step of a million more.
And I'll make mistakes I've never made before.
But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward.
At least I'm moving forward...