I thought i would have more time before the past catches up with me. Everything i did seems to repeat. First the cruel remembrance of the time of a few years ago and now this. What broke my neck the last times was that everyone let me fall, everyone i thought i could trust. I don't think i am stronger at all, but i think the bond to the person i trust is stronger. And i hope she will understand and reach me her hand in those hard times that will eventually come again. But only 50 long days left to see you again. And that is where all my hopes are on. I love you and I miss you and I need you.