sure?

Out on the lake, he rows towards a monster
he should’ve been running away from, years ago.
The past had made him blind to the way he’d turned the pain into a way of life.
- caleb

I'm not sure, if i am sure, but what i did makes me quite sure that what i've done was a sure way to make myself clear that i made the right choice to begin with. I am surely not throwing away a friend, nor a relationship. I'm not sure if that was the peak or just the beginning of a problem or a solution. Right now i am happy to see that i'm happy, and i'm not happy because i do not know what i want. I am happy to see that the people i like the most only want the best for me. And i realized that i cannot just be the good guy, nor just the bad guy. I'm a little bit of country and a little bit of Rock'n'Roll. And that's what i am and currently i think I am not the only one, who finds it great to live with that. I'm just the result of my past. And i had good times and bad times and now i try to live life the fullest. No risk, no fun. And maybe today made me realise that i need my girl back in my arms when i'm asleep, cause she is what i was before all that happened and i may teach her what i've learned in those years. And if everything crashes like it tends to happen, then i still can smile while going under.